Why We Persist in Marriage in India: Is It for Love, Children, or Compromise?”

Jayakumar Sadhasivam
3 min readDec 24, 2023

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Imagine standing at a crossroads where every choice reflects not just your wishes but also what your family and society expect. This is what many couples in India experience as they navigate marriage, balancing their feelings with traditions and family expectations. Why do people choose to stay together even when it’s tough? Is it love, family, or something else? Let’s explore what marriage means in India and the different emotions and decisions that come with it.

The Cultural Heartbeat of Indian Marriages

In India, marriage is more than just two people deciding to spend their lives together; it’s about two families joining forces. In the past, marriages were often decided by families, and this tradition still influences many people today. However, times are changing, and now, many people want to decide for themselves who they marry while still respecting their family’s wishes. It’s like trying to dance to two different songs at the same time. For example, Ravi and Meena decided to have a marriage that respected both their own choice and their parents’ wishes, creating a blend of old and new.

Silent Understandings

In some families, couples stick together because of an unspoken agreement. They may not talk about it, but they understand their responsibilities to each other, their children, and what society expects from them. Breaking these unspoken rules isn’t easy; it’s like stepping into a storm without an umbrella. However, it's crucial to keep in mind that these choices have an impact on the entire family, especially the children. Take Priya and Ajay, for example, who stayed together for 20 years because they believed it was best for their family and their reputation, even if they weren’t happy.

The Role of Parenthood

In many Indian families, parents often put their children’s needs before their own happiness. They stay together because they believe it’s best for their kids. But it’s important to remember that children are very observant and can sense when their parents are unhappy. This can affect them deeply. It’s crucial for parents to consider not just the physical but also the emotional environment they’re creating for their children.

Diverse Opinions and Communication

In any family, people will have different opinions and views, and that’s normal. But without good communication, these differences can lead to misunderstandings and silence. Like Aditi and Rohan, who almost let their marriage fall apart because they stopped talking about their feelings. They learned the hard way that talking and listening to each other are keys to understanding and solving problems.

The Children’s Perspective

Children see and feel much more than adults realize. They watch how their parents interact and learn from it, shaping their own ideas of relationships and love. If they see their parents struggling but not addressing their issues, they might think this is normal. That’s why it’s so important for families to talk openly, show that it’s okay to express feelings, and work through problems together.

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Pathways to Resolution

Recognizing and talking about issues in a relationship is the first step toward making things better. Nowadays, more and more people in India are looking for ways to improve their relationships. There are counselors, workshops, and even weekend retreats where couples can learn to understand each other better and strengthen their bond. Just like Anushka and Vivek, who found a new spark in their relationship after attending a retreat, many couples are learning that working together can lead to a happier life.

Final Thoughts

Marriage in India is about more than just two people staying together. It’s about creating a partnership that’s filled with love, understanding, and respect. Whether you’re just starting to think about these things or have seen them in your own family, remember that every relationship is a chance to learn and grow together. By choosing to communicate, respect each other, and care for everyone’s emotional well-being, we can build a future where marriages are not just about duty but about happiness and mutual respect.

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