“What Makes Us Judge Our Own Mistakes as ‘Small,’ but Others’ as ‘Big’?”
When it comes to mistakes, we often consider our own as “small,” while others’ mistakes seem to be “bigger” and more consequential. Why is this? The answer lies in our particular patterns of thinking and perspectives. We will give ourselves a much easier time than we would give somebody else. This is due to our sense of self-preservation and what psychologists like to call “cognitive dissonance.”
We tend to favor our actions and will look for any excuse to explain away our mistakes, however minor. Also, we often mix up "making a mistake" with "being wrong" and see the mistake as a reflection of our skills and worth as a person. This makes us downplay our own mistakes so we don't feel bad about ourselves or like we're not good enough.
We take comfort in the fact that our mistake was “just a small one,” rather than something bigger and more serious. In contrast, when we observe someone else making a mistake, we are much quicker to judge and make assumptions. Often, when we criticize someone, we are harsh and don't take into account any special or unique circumstances. As such, we tend to view someone else’s mistake as “bigger” and more consequential, as it is seen through the lens of our own mental biases and limited perspective. It is important to remember that mistakes, both our own and others, are inevitable.
We are all humans and are bound to miss the mark. So, instead of judging or comparing, let’s try to be more understanding and forgiving of our own and other people’s mistakes. We can learn from our mistakes and become more self-aware and moral people if we can forgive ourselves and others.
Several factors influence whether we consider our mistakes small or big. Our psychological responses, our emotional states, and our prior experiences all play a part in how we perceive mistakes, so it’s important to keep these in mind when making decisions. The good news is that you can use these insights to better understand your own mistakes and to ensure that you don’t make the same mistake twice.
